NOT ALL COOL EVENTS

I, AssProf, am back, perhaps too quickly, with my second post. Momentum and all ...

Plus this is related to the previous post in a way. The urge to embellish the CV is closely connected to the urge to get involved in all things cool (or "innovative," or "fresh," or "experimental," or *insert word that academic planners see in the title of their manuscript*).

I keep finding myself wanting to be part of cool productions in this exciting age of breaking barriers. But then I wonder (apologies for the numerical list that follows. I was trained to detest them but I find them helpful, so here goes one again):

(1) How far do these cool productions align with the worldview of powerful folks who will quantify the work I do in my Assistant Professor years and decide if I move on from Ass(is)Prof to Ass(os)Prof? I want to be optimistic and imagine that a tenure decision committee has at least some people on the very cutting edge of academia, for whom the months that one spends crafting a fabulous alternative session for a cool groundbreaking conference would add considerable points to the "research activities" section of one's tenure portfolio. I am kidding, I am not optimistic about this at all.

(2) How far do these cool productions align with my field? This, really, is the smarter question to ponder, not (1). Particularly cool stuff sound so inviting that every possible thought seems to be welcome in it. This is excellent, except the cool upcoming conference is the International Cake Conference and I study turkey. Now ICC 2022 has promised exciting spaces for dessert-bird exchange, and I am thinking of subverting tradition with my just-conceptualized-to-attend-cool-event Birthday Turkey Egg-Cake Project. Except, in a few years, this whole business will read like a turkey AssProf went to hang out (on the university's dime, no less) with cake folks (there will be no space to explain in your tenure portfolio how ICC 2022 was about turkey and every other field, and even if there were, no one is reading that. My optimism levels have not suddenly changed).

Once you have considered (1) and (2), the decision to invest time and energy in an upcoming cool event gets a bit easier. If you decide not to go, it does not at all mean that you cannot enjoy the idea of the cool event. Speaking of ICC 2022, now that I know I am not going to participate, I am indulging in a fab intellectual rollercoaster while contemplating it. It sounds so cool ... so very cool. (I am not being sarcastic, I really mean it. I think it will be a great event even if it turns out to be half of what the CFP envisions.) But then again, it works so wonderfully in tandem with 21st century anti-intellectualism. (Why do we even need expertise? Let us open all spaces for all thoughts.) But wait a moment! Is this not the exact opposite? Isn't the most intellectual stance to open the well-guarded doors of academia to one and all, and observe and record the results? It sounds so inclusive, which I love: maybe an independent icing artist will bring her cake to an international conference for the first time. It sounds so exploitative, which I dread: maybe I could find a local cupcake baker I patronize and bring them to this fancy event as part of my Birthday Turkey Egg-Cake Project. (There I go again, I am NOT going. This is why you need to decide before you enjoy daydreaming about cool events.)

So, sadly, not all cool events it is for me. Maybe I will go to a conference in my field I have never been to before, to shake things up. That's as cool as I am going to get for the time being.

Write again soon. Stay well, readers!